Hello? Anybody out there? Blogging has been quiet this week, it seems, perhaps because you're all riding around enjoyin the May weather (northerly gales and rain up here as we type) - or perhaps because you all read this and realised it might be redundant.
Fortunately, some of you are made of sterner stuff. As the LCC and British Cycling remind Boris of his pre-election promises (and if you're still depressed about the outcome of the election: it could be worse), As Easy as Riding a Bike launched a series of blog posts on what Going Dutch really means: why cycle tracks should be roads for bikes and not (just) for pootlers, whether safety in numbers is all we really need, and do cycle tracks make it harder to civilise our streets - all generating a lively (and fittingly largely civilised) debate in the comments. And elsewhere too, with Chester Cycling looking at the difference between roads which are routes and roads which are places and folks in Edinburgh, spending a wet Bank Holiday redesigning their road - while in Southwark, some roads even got a transformation for real. Over the North Sea, Bicycle Dutch was also on the case taking Copenhagen to task over its Cycle Superhighways (at least it's got decent kids' scooter parking) while a View from the Cycle Path reminds us how roadworks should be done.
Elsewhere, where even a few crumbs from motoring's table have to be welcomed, Chester Cycling found some useful, if not exactly flawless, infrastructure and LA cyclists have been taking to their buffered bike lanes in droves. And we can at least all agree on what makes for really bad infrastructure - like this daft piece of pavement obstruction in Richmond and some of Cycle Fife's least favourite bits of infrastructure - gates on cycle paths. Vole O'Speed considers why Edgeware Town Centre is far beyond the sort of help Mary Portas can provide. Meanwhile, in King's Cross, work on the deadly York Way junction continues at a snail's pace.
Perhaps we all have to just move to Wales where considering routes for cyclists and pedestrians is to become obligatory. Because it isn't just the quality we need to worry about, but the extent of the network, as Chicago seems to understand, with plans to put in 100 miles of protected bikeways and Taking the Lane wonders if Houston's developing network could make it America's next great cycling city.
So the campaigning continues, with Rex Burkholder looking back at how Portland got its bike lanes and Kim Harding gets his nostalgia in early by looking back at how Scotland might one day say it got its bike lanes - with Pedal on Parliament at least getting a meeting with the minister of Transport. Elsewhere in Scotland, as Dumfries launches its town centre 20 mph zone, Cycling Dumfries manages to contain its excitement. A new campaign urges people to get their politicians on their bikes while Cycling Scotland urges drivers to give tall children more space than short ones. Down in London, Cyclists in the City says the city needs to make its mind up why it's investing in cycling and the LCC gives Boris 100 days. In Richmond, meanwhile, the transport mode which accounts for 5% of the trips generates 100% of the complaints - and no prizes for guessing which one. Bicyclology is back and parking the car for good and the people behind Cyclescape have been busy. In general, it's no surprise that Pedestrian Liberation wonders whether we're in the developed world at all - although Bristol Traffic thinks it might have found a solution to all Bristol's traffic problems. And the campaigning goes on in America too where the vast majority want to keep what little funding there is for cycling and walking - and half a million have signed the People for Bikes pledge.
As Easy as Riding a bike asks if the rush to complete the Shard has added to cycling casualties in London. And while a cyclist's widow is compensated but still hasn't got the apology which was all she really wanted, over in the States, the story of cycling's Greyfriar's Bobby gets more heartbreaking with every day. Still there are some advantages to the whole fear thing: cycling is just too scary to allow you to be anxious (it's putting War on the Motorist off joining the enemy as well). And all because this simple modification hasn't been made to our driving test. Or perhaps because we don't have a annual blessing of the bikes. Certainly you can't count on your helmet cam footage being used to get dangerous drivers off the road (although they will now receive a warning letter).
Over in Australia - where they can move mountains for cars, Western Australia considers some exemptions to its helmet laws - or unmitigated disaster in some eyes. In the US, Cyclelicious leaves his hijab off for a second and falls foul of the morality police while in the Netherlands, for one day only, the Dutch don hi vis.
But let us not be down hearted and consider instead all the great things you can do by bike, even in this country: like hold Britain's biggest street party, or put on a theatre tour. Or watch television. Or deliver things. Or even get your doctorate in cycling (well, sustainable mobilities). Or you can just fun on a tandem in Richmond Park - or join the overnighters on the ultimate night ride.
Questions, questions: like how much does your bike (and the road you ride it on) depend on oil? And are you a car addict? Is it wrong that we find this hilarious? Could the Cambridge police have found your lost bike? Is New York's Bike share scheme just too pricey? When you're checking out those toned cyclist's calves and shapely rear view, do you know what you're looking at? (it could be Paris Hilton...). Can you tell your chic vintage delivery bike from your bog-standard postie bike? And is it physically possible to love Sir David Attenborough even more than we do? Apparently so. Oh - and this is satire, right? Right?
Finally, we were torn between two Japanese stories this week, so we've decided to bring you both: the dog that makes your U-lock redundant and a not-exactly-this-week, but just too cute to miss story about racing and infrastructure and a Dutchman in Japan.